It’s that time of year again… another year, another notch on the belt… and you are scrambling to find the way to reverse a few days weeks months of eating out of a brown bag in as little time as possible.
“Somehow” you don’t have as much energy as you used to…
“Somehow” you don’t look like you used to…
“Somehow” that entire cheesecake just jumped right up into your mouth.
Now this is the part of the story where you expect me to tell you how bad cheesecake is. That I never eat it and you shouldn’t either… you should “know better.” But there is nothing wrong with cheesecake, in fact… eat the damn cheesecake, it’s delicious. There is nothing wrong with not looking like you used to, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with adding a notch on your belt. NOTHING.
I think it’s safe to say at this point that you “know” what nutritious food looks like. You “know” why you don’t feel/look the way you used to, and you know why that last notch on your belt is hanging on for dear life.
But what you don’t know is how to fix it.
After scouring the internet for a full 12 minutes, you’ve concluded that your body is now full of toxic toxins that have a toxicity of 1 million and the only way to rid yourself of these evil monsters is of course, to detox and cleanse your soul from the inside-out before they unleash their devilish offspring… or so Dr. Oz said.
And all this can be yours for $69.99
And of course it makes sense. What better way to jump-start yourself on the health train to healthville than by not eating for a week. THEN you’ll be right on track and your body will be begging you to take it to Cancun in no time, right? But here’s the hard truth…
Your Detox is a scam.
Probably the most widely accepted scam in the industry, for that matter.
Here’s the truth:
Let’s assume that a “detox” would mean that your body has “toxins” that you need to remove. Fair enough. Our daily trips to the commode suggests that not everything we eat can be used. This is nothing out of the ordinary and something our bodies are evolved to do.
But here’s the “secret” they don’t want you to know… your body is smarter than you. A healthy Liver is detoxing your body every single minute of every single day. That extra cheesecake? Yep. That month of burgers, mashed potatoes, and frappuccino’s? Yep, yep, and yep. Your Liver detoxed every last bit for you.
[Now, livers that don’t function properly due to abuse or medical conditions are a different story… but that’s an issue that certainly can’t be fixed from slugging down some tea.]
My point is that you are not in your situation because of “toxins.” You are in your situation because you ate too much damn food and didn’t do enough damn exercise.
Detoxes are indeed a short cut… A short cut to an eating disorder. It’s a constant cycle of two extremes, trying to override weeks of gluttony followed by days of deprivation and limitation.
So for those of you thinking about starting out the new year with the next detox or cleanse, remember this:
Toxins are not your problem, your problem is too much food.
Toxins are not your problem, your problem is empty calories.
Toxins are not your problem, your problem is a lack of hydration
Toxins are not your problem, your problem is a lack of sleep
Toxins are not your problem, your problem is all of the above along with a lack of physical activity.
THAT is why you’re tired, THAT is why you don’t look like you used to, and THAT is why you added another notch on your belt this year, period.